Wednesday, April 28, 2010

4 Rules to Improve Conversation in Marriage During Conflict

Tim Keller shares 4 rules for improving your communication during conflict with your spouse.

1. Before you say something to your spouse you MUST ask yourself - first! - what is my motive? (are you coming from a ministry mindset or a selfish mindset) why am I sending this message?

2. Always start with the part of the situation that is your fault - even if it is only 5% (take care of your own 'log' first)

3. Attack the problem and not the person, frame your conversation with the following ideas:
*You've done this
*This is how I'm affected by what you've done
*I think this action would be better
*Please tell me if I'm missing something, Is there something going on I don't understand?
4. Make it a safe environment for your spouse to criticize you
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