10 Tips for Love and Respect in Marriage

I had lunch with my friend Jon yesterday to celebrate his birthday and catch up on life.  Jon's been a great support of mine since college and we have a true 'iron sharpening iron' (Pr. 27:17) relationship.  There is nothing we wouldn't be comfortable talking about with each other.  If you don't have a "Jon" in your life you NEED one.

As we talked through things Jon shared a great insight with me.  He said that "almost every problem between a husband and wife is a love and respect problem."  He broke it down like this:

The #1 need of a man is to feel respected.  Wives who belittle, put-down or don't support their husbands do serious damage to morale of their husband's manliness and leadership. 

The #1 need of a women is to feel loved.  Husbands who speak harshly, ignore or minimize the feelings of their wives create a sense of insecurity and inferiority in their wives.

5 Tips to Respect Your Husband
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.  (1 Peter 3:1-2 ESV)
1.  Always brag on him and never put him down or embarrass him publicly
2.  Remind him kindly and don't nag him to do things
3.  Never compare his lack of skills in something to another man's proficiency
4.  Show support for his hopes and dreams
5.  Talk to him about how you are trying to grow as a woman and wife

5 Tips to Love Your Wife
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.  (1 Peter 3:7 ESV)
1.  Be slow to 'fix' and quick to listen when she shares her feelings with you
2.  Show urgency and complete the things she asks of you without complaint
3.  Love your children well
4.  Admit your failures and ask for forgiveness often
5.  Be emotionally available, vulnerable, and reciprocal with her