It was hard decision to make. As a man I want to provide for my family. I feel the pressure to find a job that will alleviate the financial stresses of life. But the cons of the position I was interviewing for were too great when weighed against the pros. I don't want to take a job and move my family just for a paycheck.
As I was driving home I hit a 45 mile patch of intense fog. I couldn't see more than fifty yards in front of me. It was an apt metaphor for my feelings right now. I feel like I am in a fog regarding what my next steps are, and I struggle seeing a future beyond the pressure of finding a job. My only recourse is to rest in the promises of Scripture that Jesus Christ will be my Rock and my Provider. It is exhausting and takes intense spiritual concentration, just like driving in such a thick cloud of fog.
I eventually exited the fog into sunlight and clarity. It was a relief to be able to relax and enjoy the drive. I am confident that the same thing will happen for me with regard to work. I'll get a new job and I'll be able to relax some. Until then I know I need to keep my knees on the floor and my eyes looking upward.