Thursday, February 17, 2011

Driving Through the Fog

Last night I traveled to Madison, WI to prepare for an interview with a company located there. I'd been emailing with the company for the last couple months and, needing a job, I was excited about getting the invitation to interview. However, the more I learned about the position, the travel demands and the requirement to relocate to Madison, the more I wondered if this was the job for me. Stephanie and I prayed a lot about it, and this morning as I was prepping and praying in my hotel room I sensed the Lord leading me to withdraw my application.

It was hard decision to make. As a man I want to provide for my family. I feel the pressure to find a job that will alleviate the financial stresses of life. But the cons of the position I was interviewing for were too great when weighed against the pros. I don't want to take a job and move my family just for a paycheck.

As I was driving home I hit a 45 mile patch of intense fog. I couldn't see more than fifty yards in front of me. It was an apt metaphor for my feelings right now. I feel like I am in a fog regarding what my next steps are, and I struggle seeing a future beyond the pressure of finding a job. My only recourse is to rest in the promises of Scripture that Jesus Christ will be my Rock and my Provider. It is exhausting and takes intense spiritual concentration, just like driving in such a thick cloud of fog.

I eventually exited the fog into sunlight and clarity. It was a relief to be able to relax and enjoy the drive. I am confident that the same thing will happen for me with regard to work. I'll get a new job and I'll be able to relax some. Until then I know I need to keep my knees on the floor and my eyes looking upward.
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