Skip to main content

15 Behaviors to Make You a Better Dad

Dads, I'm certain if your kids are older than an hour old you've begun to realize effective parenting can seem like the most challenging and frustrating thing you do in your life.  Part of the difficulty in parenting comes because we value and love of children so much and we want the very best for them, so when they misbehavior or display poor character we get upset.  But it is also this way because we are selfish and we have our own priorities that conflict with our children's wants and desires.

Children have the most amazing ways of pushing our buttons and driving us dads up the wall don't they?  One of my kids always has to get in a last word, even if I've said 'stop talking right now' 99 times he will still try and make his point.  Another one of my kids reasons and argues with me like a little lawyer and holds me legalistically accountable to every word I say.  At times I almost need to plead the fifth when dealing with that child!  My third kid walks around the house seemingly instinctively compelled to interrupt and/or ruin the calm, orderly behavior of any room he walks into. 

I'm seriously considering building a small room in my basement with padded walls that I can go and sit in for an hour each night just to calm myself down!

And yet, there is nothing I'd rather do than be a dad.  The smile of my son, time cuddling and tickling with my daughter, playing a game of catch with the oldest - all of these are moments that melt my heart.  No matter how horrible the day is after they've been asleep just an hour I miss their faces and little hands hugging me. 

It's important, Dads, that we continue to do our best to nurture and love our kids, without throwing in the towel during the tough moments.  With that in mind, here's 15 things you and I can do to be better dads.  And for the record, I have definitely not mastered these!

15 Behaviors to Make You a Better Dad
1. Pray for yourself and your kids DAILY
2. Chill out a little and don't sweat all the small stuff
3. Set your agenda aside and go with your kids' plans once and a while
4. Tell your kids you love them EVERYDAY, MULTIPLE TIMES
5. Discipline with consistency and out of calm concern, not anger
6. Be spontaneously generous
7. Love your wife well in front of your kids
8. Involve your kids in the things you do
9. Provide structure, clear expectations, consequences, and follow through
10. Be honest and keep your word
11. Admit your mistakes and sins, model repentance and ask your kids for forgiveness
12. Grass grows back & broken things are replaceable, don't ruin your relationship over 'things'
13. Take your kids on special dates, one kid at a time, and as a group
14. Don't gain compliance through yelling and physical intimidation
15. Finally, your kids behavior is basically your fault - they're built on your DNA
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

5 Reasons I Won't Let My Kids Wear Clothes with Skulls on Them

Yesterday I threw out a poll question on my Facebook and Twitter pages.  The poll question asked, "Should Christians wear attire with skulls on it?"  I received some great comments from people with a variety of opinions.  You can read the comments on my timeline from 8/8/13.

My opinion is that Christians should not wear clothes with skulls on them.

I don't have one specific Bible verse that I can use to prove my point.  Jesus never said, "Thou shalt not wear clothes with skulls."  I do however think there are number of conclusions that can be drawn from Scripture that support my opinion.

1.  Jesus does care about the clothes we wear.
I don't believe God's people are free to wear whatever they want.  From the Old Testament all the way through the New Testament you can find Biblical language related to clothes.  There are laws in Leviticus about clothes.  God instructed the OT priests on what to wear don't believe God's people are free to wear wh…

How Stephanie and I Celebrated 15 Years of Marriage

Yesterday Stephanie and I celebrated 15 years of marriage! 
To kick off the festivities, on Wednesday afternoon Stephanie bought a new car from Harry Browns in Faribault. She said good goodbye to the minivan and bought a 2014 Dodge Journey. She picked out a great new vehicle and her dad Ralph channeled his inner New Yorker to haggle us a great price.
We started the day Thursday driving to St. Peter to pick up Isabelle from the "Gustie" Basketball and Leadership camp. She spent 4 days there learning, practicing and having a blast. We celebrated together as a family with some Godfather's Pizza!
After getting back to Northfield I dropped the kids off at some friend's houses so Stephanie and I could be alone together. Having great friends who help with the kids is such a blessing. 
Stephanie had the idea that we should get tattoos together. She didn't have to work hard to convince me! After asking for recommendations on Facebook we decided to check out  Guns and Nee…

How to Make an ISTJ Calm and Happy

When it is time to write a sermon I have found it is most effective for me to get out of the house and go to a coffee shop.  My mind is clearer and my focus is sharper there.  I am usually more productive.

The increase in output may be because, as pastor and author Mark Batterson often says, "change of place + change of pace = change in perspective."  However, I think something else is influencing me.  When I am out of my house I am not distracted by messes, dishes, house chores, or clutter; my mind is completely free to focus on the task I want to accomplish.

 In addition to Batterson's creativity axiom, here are a couple little formulas that I've found hold true for me:

Cleanliness = Creativity and Calmness.
Organized home = Organized mind.

Simply put, I function best when my environment feels under control.  This feeling of control comes in many different forms.  I feel like things are under control when my surroundings are clean and organized.  I feel like thin…