Monday, October 17, 2011

Fatherhood Frustrations

It is astonishing how easy it is to get stuck in a rut of negativity as a father.

Yesterday was one of those day where ever single thing my kids did bothered me.  I was so blinded by the mistakes of my kids that I didn't enjoy almost any time with them.  I don't get many weekends at home, and it makes me even more upset that during the time I did have, I wasted it all away yelling at them for their errors.

Much of my frustration with my kids comes from them interrupting what I am doing.  They interrupt because they are fighting, or someone took something, or someone is hurt, or they want me to look at something or do something with them.  Then, instead of entering into their world for a moment, I get upset and raise me voice to resolve the issue.  It is a graceless, selfish form of parenting.  I let my desires for quietness and personal pursuits of pleasure to override my God-given call to love and train up my children.  It is a sin.

I wonder how many moments I will reflect on 10 years from now, and regret how I handled them.  I wonder what kind of "word wounds" I am inflicting on the soul and psyche of my kids, and how deep the wounds will be.  And I pray for more grace from God, and that my faults and failures as a parent will not get in the way of the work He wants to do in my children's lives.
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