10 Things You Want to Say, but Never Can, in Retail

1.  Did you really not expect some candy to be sold out when you're in shopping Easter Eve at 4pm?
2.  Yes, when it is raining the carts might be a little wet.
3.  Is the idea of needing a receipt in order to do a return a new concept for you?
4.  Sure, let me drop everything I'm doing and ignore every other customer in order to check in the back for more olives.
5.  I can't believe I don't know the location of every item in this store either.
6.  Why are you so upset? Does no one love you?  Would you like a hug?
7.  The "XX items or less sign" is really more of a suggestion than a rule here.
8.  Don't want it?  No problem, just dump it wherever you feel like.  I'll pick it up.
9.  We encourage messes here.  Let your kids play with everything.  Try on whatever you want and just through it back on the shelf.  The hanger is not necessary.
10.  If it is more convenient for you, you can leave your cart in the empty parking spot next to you.