I Need to Vent
For a long time I have been praying like crazy and asking the Lord to bring me work that I am passionate about and that blends well with my gift mix and my passions. Thus far I haven't had the door opened to that 'thing.' After not working for the first six months of 2011 I am extremely grateful to have a job that pays bills and provides food, but from somewhere deep inside me I sense that God doesn't have me settled in completley.
Yesterday I met a guy whose story went like this ---> he worked in a place for a long time and felt God stirring something new in his heart so he prayed about it, then one day while praying about it in the shower his cell phone dinged, his friend was emailing him and offering him a new job!
Awesome story but in a way it ticked my spirit off. I have been waiting for that email ding for years - over six of them to be exact. It still has not come. While I've been waiting I've watched a lot of people pray for and find things that clicked with the passions in their hearts. I don't understand why God hasn't done the same for me. People tell me it may be because God still has things to teach me. I don't doubt that, but doesn't everyone have something to learn. Why does it feel like I'm the guy whose stuck learning all the time?
None of this changes how I feel about God. He is good, all the time. I don't doubt his goodness, his love, his sovereignty, or his plan. It just doesn't seem very fair right now is all. It is frustrating. And I wonder, "When God? When are you going to show up and make things change for me?"