Skip to main content

15 Ways Parents Fail in Disciplining Their Children


I found this list on David Murray's blog.  I've really been wrestling with my behavior as a Father.  I love my kids passionately, and I want the very very best for them.  However, in my zeal, my selfishness gets in the way, and I tend towards anger and outburst far too frequently.

This list reminds me of the many ways that I can incorrectly discipline my children.

1. Excessive discipline: Too often or too hard.

2. Disproportionate discipline: Way out of scale to the offense.

3. Inconsistent discipline: Child punished for one offense one day but not on most other days.

4. Prejudiced discipline: Unfairly favoring one child over another.

5. Unexplained discipline: No explanation of why the child’s attitude, words, or actions were wrong, and therefore no understanding

6. Unforgiving discipline: Despite child saying sorry, the father keeps the child under a cloud for days/weeks after the discipline.

7. Imbalanced discipline: Discipline is never balanced with encouragement or praise for anything done right.

8. Humiliating discipline: Aims to belittle and shame.

9. Public discipline: No attempt to hide the child’s offenses and punishment from others.

10. Bad-tempered discipline: Terrifyingly out of control.

11. Prayerless discipline: No prayer before, during, or after the discipline.

12. Heartless discipline: No attempt to get behind the why of the wrong and show the child the need for heart-change.

13. Unwarned discipline: Child was never instructed about what was wrong or warned about the wrong before the discipline.

14. Selfish discipline: Parent takes out frustrations on child to make themselves feel better.

15. Gospel-less discipline: No hope of divine or parental forgiveness. Christ’s atoning sacrifice is ignored.

Thankfully I am not without hope.  I know that I am not ultimately responsible for what happens to my children.  They are God's children first and he alone is ultimately responsible.  I must simply strive to continue to learn and grow as a father, trusting that my Heavenly Father is with me and with my kids leading us to the place he wants us to be.
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

5 Reasons I Won't Let My Kids Wear Clothes with Skulls on Them

Yesterday I threw out a poll question on my Facebook and Twitter pages.  The poll question asked, "Should Christians wear attire with skulls on it?"  I received some great comments from people with a variety of opinions.  You can read the comments on my timeline from 8/8/13.

My opinion is that Christians should not wear clothes with skulls on them.

I don't have one specific Bible verse that I can use to prove my point.  Jesus never said, "Thou shalt not wear clothes with skulls."  I do however think there are number of conclusions that can be drawn from Scripture that support my opinion.

1.  Jesus does care about the clothes we wear.
I don't believe God's people are free to wear whatever they want.  From the Old Testament all the way through the New Testament you can find Biblical language related to clothes.  There are laws in Leviticus about clothes.  God instructed the OT priests on what to wear don't believe God's people are free to wear wh…

How Stephanie and I Celebrated 15 Years of Marriage

Yesterday Stephanie and I celebrated 15 years of marriage! 
To kick off the festivities, on Wednesday afternoon Stephanie bought a new car from Harry Browns in Faribault. She said good goodbye to the minivan and bought a 2014 Dodge Journey. She picked out a great new vehicle and her dad Ralph channeled his inner New Yorker to haggle us a great price.
We started the day Thursday driving to St. Peter to pick up Isabelle from the "Gustie" Basketball and Leadership camp. She spent 4 days there learning, practicing and having a blast. We celebrated together as a family with some Godfather's Pizza!
After getting back to Northfield I dropped the kids off at some friend's houses so Stephanie and I could be alone together. Having great friends who help with the kids is such a blessing. 
Stephanie had the idea that we should get tattoos together. She didn't have to work hard to convince me! After asking for recommendations on Facebook we decided to check out  Guns and Nee…

Lessons from Mt Everest

It would be great is life was all fun and easy and exciting like glissading down a mountain side.  However life is actually much more like climbing up the mountain.  It is difficult, painful, dangerous and exhilarating all wrapped up into one.
Last Sunday I preached at a church in Northfield and I shared some thoughts about this.  I compared lessons I've learned studying mountain climbing to lessons I've learned living life.  Here are the five things I talked about, along with some accompanying Bible verses.
1. You have to have a goal and you have to work hard towards achieving it, sometimes for a long time ---> Jer 29:10-14  2. You have to expect setbacks (injury, weather, enemies, catastrophe) and roll with them ----> 2 Cor 4:8-10  3. You have to push yourself beyond what you thought possible ----> Phil 4:13  4. In most cases, you need others to help you (guides, logistics, cheerleaders, friends, expedition leader) ----> Heb 10:15   5. You have to acknowledg…