Last week I made the decision to have Jacob and Isabelle stop going to piano lessons. I say "I" because Stephanie and the kids had made the decision to walk away from piano months ago and I was the one dragging my feet. It was really hard for me to accept the fact that we were going to stop going to lessons.
It was hard for several reasons, in no particular order….
1. We have invested time and money in 2 years worth of lessons
2. Izzy (and Jacob to some extent) have demonstrated an aptitude to do well in piano
3. We really like their teacher Bree, and we know her family depends on her teaching lessons
4. To this day I wish I could play piano and I don't want the kids to have the same regrets
5. I think there is a certain sophistication that comes with being able to play music
In the end, however, the decision came down to these facts…..
1. Stephanie and I are not very good at helping the kids practice
2. The kids hated practicing and fought against it all the time
3. Our family is busy with so many other activities
4. We don't really have the extra money to do something no one is trying that hard at
I am still not at peace with the decision. I really, really don't want to think about letting the kids off the hook for something that, though painful now, would bring them much joy later. And yet, what if they don't ever care, and I fought with them and pushed them all that time for nothing? That has got to be one of the hardest things about parenting - knowing when to push your kids to do something even when they don't think it matters, and knowing when to back off and just let kids follow their own interests. Plus there is all the guilt that I am not putting my kids first by really investing the time to sit with them, practice with them, and help walk them through the struggle of it all.
Man parenting is a tough thing to do isn't it! Jesus help me.